A dedication….

I’m dedicating this post to an old friend that I fear I will never see again, he was my best friend, I morn his loss. There is no feeling like the sheer upset that this whole ordeal has had upon me and I’m reaching out, someone, anyone have you seen the sandman? I vaguely remember the nights he would visit and bring me to the land of nod but I fear he detests the sound of a screaming baby just as much as I do and the imminent danger that may befall anyone who happens to even breathe loudly prior to the baby’s wake up party. 

I don’t know how I am still able to stand. 

 I don’t know how my partner has not packed up and left me after the numerous times I have screamed obscenities into his face really really loud. 

I don’t know how the police have not been involved because if I can hear the neighbors snore I am certain they can hear me turn into the she hulk. 

I don’t know how I’m not even fatter than I am because I eat an extra meal most nights/mornings between 2 & 3am. 

I don’t know how my daughter sleeps through this all. 

For the last 9 months I have had a constant headache, dark circles around my eyes, a slight odour of impending doom…you know the smell of illness, kinda like that. When I sleep I dream of waking up, sometimes I wake up and look for George in the bed in fear I have fallen asleep whilst putting George back to bed. 

I told a friend once how I just want to be run over a little bit, like 5mph or some shit, enough to be kept in observations for a night or so, no major injuries. 

In short 9 months since I have had a late night visit from a previous special friend, if you see him tell him I can be found eating ice cream on the sofa, sobbing, listening to fucking Little Baby Bum nursery rhymes. 

Come back to me old friend and bring me your sand. 


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