I do complain at my partner about the sleepiness, it bothers me when he lays there sleeping whilst I fed and then get up and down up and down. I can’t stand it when he lays there awake playing on his phone and not talking to me whilst I fed then get up and down up and down. I hate it when he gets up and down as every failed attempt to put the baby to sleep could have been a success for me. The common theme here is being AWAKE, and I can tell you that I hate being awake 3 – 5 times a night.
So if I hate my partner awake or asleep during the nights what the hell can he actually do right?
So that was written at about 3am during the angry awake hours I spent waiting for my phone to die whilst George was asleep on the sofa and I was quietly raging. The morning has now broken and the oldest is at school, I ache with anger. I also ache because George has split my nipple and the pain is radiating all the way down my arm. So this morning whilst I was trying to leave my partner he told me that I was not his mother nor his boss and that whilst he would listen to me he could choose to ignore what I said. Well the kitchen knife was looking lovely had the room not been clean this could have been a much worse entry. To be honest I don’t have the energy to kill anyone, nor the stomach. Eventually I have successfully explained that it is my job to be exhausted, I get that I am the at home parent but I need to be listened to. When I say get up and help he needs to and when I say sleep he has to do that, so last night when I had had enough and took the boy downstairs so I could drink coffee and watch Law and Order alone I really did want to be alone. Because I am the one that has to do it I am the one that gets to dictate how it is done. I am the boss on the night time shift.