I am average and that’s cool.

Is the “selfish” mum fashion a true indication of what these instamummas are going through? It encourages solidarity and girl gangs formed around motherhood and it’s mean trials and tribulations but is it as misguiding as the perfect mum? Can I hear it for the average ones? Why does so many things have to be either end of the spectrum and I wonder why we cannot just have a happy medium. I don’t want to embrace all off my shortcomings, some of them I wish to change, sometimes the calamities in my life make me laugh and sometimes the same events make me cry, so when does one persons acceptance of these times move from being okay to laugh at to being nasty?

I have had many a giggle at myself when I wake up with hair everywhere and boob out ready to feed and there are some nights that I wake up and I wonder why I put my body through it. I sit there waiting for the baby to be brought to me slouched over with a tit hanging out and it makes me feel so sad. A part of my body that was private is now so available all the time. These moments are few and far between as I honestly love feeding my boy but during some hard times they have surfaced.

Up until a week ago I loved my postpartum body, I felt womanly and mumsy and I was really enjoying it, I often used humour to explain how I am not perfect and that I like it. Today I feel like a marshmallow that has been squished between two wafers and if someone even tried to make a joke that I myself had made previously I think I would have a hard time getting through the night without crying.

When did being a ‘bad’ mum become so popular? What we need to address is that we are not bad mums because we like a drink or a fag or we sometimes resort to chicken nuggets twice in one week, we’re fucking normal. I guess it’s a evolution of being a generation hooked on social media. I follow the @dresslikeamum Instagram and I would never be able to afford to dress like that mum, we have become walking adverts for companies.

I’m now going to battle my way through this evening after being up on and off since 3am βœŒπŸ»οΈπŸ‘πŸ»IMG_5796.JPG

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